Oh, what a shame

Holy crap blog.
How the hell are you?

It's been, what, like a month? Yea, sorry about that.
Sometimes I can be a neglectful lover.
It's summer and I've been busy looking after kids on a daily basis.

Most of them are cool and also hilarious.
Some of them smell really bad to the point that I have to get up and walk away when I'm eating my lunch because their smell makes me want to throw up my sandwhich.
Some of them call me weird, and some of them tell really horrible stories that I don't know whether or not to laugh at because their only emotion is awkward. Some of them even play cards with me and make the game up as we go along which frustrates me to no end. But, yea, most of them are pretty cool.

For those of you who don't know, I'm working at a camp at Brock in which I am the sole drama camp councellor. This fact is pretty well known with the campers and staff, so a lot of times I am asked to do silly things that other cousellors wouldn't have to do...but I'm ok with it.

I can mostly be seen with silly hair, or dressed like a pirate, or wearing entire plaid outfits while yelling really loudly conducting cheer competitions. A lot of the time I'm tired and end up looking really awkward or have T-Rex claws when I talk, but I'm ok with it.

So yea, sorry that my blog skills have been lacking.
I promise that I will update more often when really hilarious things happen at camp. Like the time when on of the particularily awkward volunteers slipped on a wet tile floor and ate it so hard and I laughed probably too loud. That made me feel like a pretty good person.

Also, a certain boy has been monopolizing my time, but I'm not even the least bit upset about it. He's pretty neat, and I like to kiss him on the face.

Public washrooms

Ok, ladies...sit down.
We need to chat.

When I go into a public washroom and you are already sitting there in a stall - perfectly silent - and are still sitting in there when I am done - still perfectly silent - anddd you are still even there once I have left - still perfectly silent - I still know you are there.

You are not a very good poop ninja.

I like have five different internet communication devices to check throughout the day when I am so bored at work.
I do not like the fact that none of them ever have anything in the inbox.

Oh, just at work.

1.I've come to realize that my butt:
-er is melting. I should have put it in the fridge.

2. I've come to realize that when I talk :
People mistake me for an air-traffic controller.

3. I've come to realize that, if I love someone (not family):
I like to pee on them during sex.

4. I've come to realize that I need:
someone who doesn’t mind being peed on.

5. I've come to realize that I lost:
My self-respect.

6. Ive come to realize that money:
Is usually invested in my lucrative stocks and bonds.

7. I've come to realize that things get busy when:
you’re getting’ busy. HEY-O.

8.I've come to realize that music:
I NEVER LISTEN TO RAP AND COUNTRY. THEY SUCK.

9. I've come to realize that:
What? That’s the whole question?

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be:
Way freaking cool.

11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on:
EVERY BOY.

12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried was:
I yawned too hard and my eyes started to water.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone is:
Rarely charged, and used only to contact two people. Hi Phil and Kimber!

14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning:
It’s really the afternoon.

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night I:
Brush my teeth and wash my face. DOESN’T EVERYONE?

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:
Maybe not being that sarcastic.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook:
I shouldn’t automatically judge people.

19. I've come to realize that today I will:
Probably judge you on facebook.

20. I've come to realize that tonight I will:
Probably talk to Katie about judging you on facebook.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:
See above.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to:
Stop coming to realize things.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is:
Oh my god, I hope the boy of my dreams reads this and realizes that I’m talking about him in EVERY QUESTION, and then fall instantly in love with me and repost it with responses that are EXACTLY LIKE MINE.

24. I've come to realize relationships:
Probably are the best.

25. I've come to realize love:
Fucking sucks.

26. I've come to realize my best guy friend(s):
Read a lot of comic books.

27. I've come to realize my best girl friend(s):
Also read comic books.

28. I've come to realize food:
is always in my belly.

29. I've come to realize girls/boys:
Girl-boys? Like a transvestite?

30: I've come to realize over the summer:
I will sleep a lot.

31. I've come to realize heartbreak:
is a medical condition in which the casualty should immediately go to the hospital.

I'll have you know...

My birthday is in 2 weeks and three days.



Last year when I wrote a blog about what I would like for said birthday



I got everything I wanted



Thanks Courtney and Kristen! You are the best!



I'm not going to do that again though



Because I feel like maybe that's a little greedy.



When my parents ask what I would like,



I'll probably just say nothing



Which isn't really the truth



But it's what I'll say anyways.

yes 100% gold star

My job is kind of stupidly easy.
My day consists of setting up a computer and LCD projector, turning on the speaker system, asking the catering staff for more coffee and drinking a lot of tea.
Oh, and also sweating a lot.

Today, however, I had a small degree of excitement when I had to get a presenters presentation photocopied in a hurry. I felt pretty important walking in Printing Services at Brock with an account number and an immediate request for printing.
Just being a grown up with a grown up job, is all. No biggie.

Well, I suppose the gods just aren't ready for any degree of maturity in my life, so in an effort to void anything I do that seems even mildly important, they make me do humiliating things just to bring me back down to earth.

After getting my printing done I was walking back to my car with a big box of papers and my larger than necessary purse. I looked important, let me tell you.

Then both my ankles give out and I fall right to the ground. Not even a stumble, just a complete free fall to the sidewalk.
Rather than crying immediately, I just said "Fuck my life" louder than I probably should, looked around to make sure no one saw (no one did) and then walked to my car with my head hung in shame.

I immediately e-mailed my Mom, and this is what she said in response. It made me laugh.

Hi Sweetheart:

Not a good day eh? I hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly when you fell. Better check you ankles throughout the day to make sure they are not swelling.

Suzy and I

There have been instantances in my home when I have been compared to my pet dog Suzy. I can't remember the exact reasons, but there were some, and some of them were maybe even reasonable.

Today I came up with a reason why my dog and I are similar, and it hurts me to say it because this was previously a very sour topic for me to discuss.

When my dog does something embarrassing, like pooping by accident on the floor, she will go to great lengths to cover it up because she doesn't want us to know...presumably because she is ashamed.
There have been evenings when we come home and there is a carpet overturned into a poop pita, or a piece of mail dragged from the mail box over a pile of poop.
This doesn't happen often, but when it does it's very difficult to even get mad at the little pooch because she is obviously embarrassed about what she has done because she knows it was stupid and something she shouldn't do.

Today I had a similar experience, though it did not involve poop in any capacity.
I'm working at a conference in which my main duties are setting up and taking down the AV equipment. This takes me approximately 20 minutes, but I have to be at the conference all day.
I'm not complaining though as I am being paid a ridiculous amount for it, but I digress.
Today there was a new piece of AV equipment that I had to figure out. All it was was a small remote that would allow for the presenters to click through their powerpoint presentations without being directly beside it.
For the life of me, I could not get this stupid fucking remote to work. I tried different batteries, tried to reconfigure it, put the battery in different ways....everything. It just wouldn't work.
Needless to say, the presenter had to go without the clicker for the first part of the day, as I couldn't get it to work and was too frustrated to care about it.
Later on, after two to three cups of horrible coffee, I decided that I should probably read the instruction manual because that might give me a clue as to what's going on.
I flip to the second page, and there written in bold letters with a tiny arrow mocking me to no end is the label "On/Off switch".
Well, fuck me sideways.

I was so embarrassed. How could I possibly not even consider the fact that there is a on/off switch?
Oh, I know. I'm stupid.

So, I threw the stupid remote in my purse to hide it because I was so embarrassed, and didn't talk about it for the rest of the day.

My dog and I both experience extreme bouts of embarrassment.